


Eren/Levi Angst Weekend 2018

by hanjingyi (notbadbrat)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bits of Smut, Day 1 prompt: Fade, Day 2 prompt: Damaged, Day 3 prompt: Goodbye, Eren/Levi Angst Weekend 2018, Fluff, M/M, Manga Spoilers (ch. 105), Smut, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-21 04:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15549159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notbadbrat/pseuds/hanjingyi
Summary: Aug 3rd - Fade:There was once a military boy, with a mask on his face for everyone to see. He had pretty turquoise eyes, sun-kissed skin, chiseled features growing out of puberty, the body of a soldier, the temper of a child and the soul of a rioter.Aug 4th - Damaged:Wonders of the unknown pt. 1In this world, everyone has a soulmate, but it hasn’t always been easy to find them -not like now. Years of scientific progress helped the world organize and engulf the functioning of the Red Thread of Fate into the system, so that no one would fear not meeting their destined one ever again.Levi Ackerman is finally twenty, and the Red Ceremony -where young men and women meet their soulmates for the first time- is close. Or is it really?Aug 5th - Goodbye:Wonders of the unknown pt. 2





	1. #1 - Fade

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm Hanji Phi and this is the first time I've published something of mine on ao3 -I'm nervous, aaaah!  
> I found out about the **Eren/Levi Angst Weekend** event by ererievents on tumblr and managed to write something for each day, I couldn't pass on this opportunity to obsess over my two beautiful boys. I love reading about them (been doing that for years), but it's rare for me to find inspiration and give my contribute to the fandom (that's why I deeply admire every single writer and artist in this fandom -well, every fandom, really). This time, I wanted to give it a shot, so here!  
>  Sorry for eventual errors and awkward expressions (let me know if there are any), but English is not my native language -writing is also a really good exsercise for me!  
> Hope some of you will read these and leave some comments, I always appreciate corrections and opinions!  
> "Happy" Eren/Levi Angst Weekend, everyone!

There was once a military boy, with a mask on his face for everyone to see.

He had pretty turquoise eyes, sun-kissed skin, chiseled features growing out of puberty, the body of a soldier, the temper of a child and the soul of a rioter. No parents, but a big family just around the corner, hands to hold when loneliness was to much, sounds that kept him company then the world seemed too dark.

His home was made of the prayers and hope and dreams of those who smiled at him; his heart of the determination those smiles gave him and the despair of the menacing hopelessness clouding his judgment.

Sometimes it wasn’t enough, others it was too much.

He always thought he was somehow the hero of all those fairy tales his mother used to tell him about when he was little and his imagination too wild. The one who came up in the story and saved everyone, and the screams of joy people sung at him echoed in the happily ever after that always put a smile on his mother’s lips.

Eren wasn’t sure about happiness and good endings, but the adventurous tone and the defeat of the bad guys always got him. It sounded _right_.

Good and evil are usually an easy task in a ten-years-old’s head.

 

In the Survey Corps, he was more of a helper than a hero, and he found out he didn’t mind much as long as the hero he’d have been assisting was Captain Levi. He didn’t need to be the main character to feel happy or fulfilled.

«Eren, come to my office» Captain Levi had said once, in a crispy, rainy day. It wasn’t unusual for his superior to call him like that, and Eren’s heart was clear and unhurried, graced by years of service and experience on the man’s side.

Later, he had knocked on the door, waited to be granted access and opened it with a serene expression, raising his pretty eyes to meet steal gray.

«Close the door» the Captain had said, gaze unwavering, body casually leaning on the desk’s border.

He did.

«Lock it» he added sternly.

He did.

«Come closer» he murmured, tone hypnotic, magnetic, drawing Eren in.

He did.

Would have been helpless doing so, too, were it the first time.

But it wasn’t.

The taste of his Captain’s mouth, skin, breath, the forbidden pleasure of taking him again the wall, his desk, on his bed. The boy had always considered himself lucky for being so close to the hero of his story, for being accepted and adored a little bit in return. His love for the Captain was very different from the one his mother depicted in her fairy tales, far from shiny and honest and hopeful.

It was desperate, full of longing and words unsaid.

 _That’s why I can’t be the hero_ , he had often thought in his head, laying beside the sleeping body of the one he held dear in his heart. _If I have nothing pure and right to offer, of course there has never been a chance for me to be the hero_.

And he didn’t care, as long as he could protect. No matter if, in the long run, he had to say some lie here and there.

That night, whispering into the dark, he said goodbye.

 

It was unclear to him when his will to stand for the ones he cared about and to fight against the enemy had morphed into a means to satisfy his own needs.

«Jaegers are like that, it seems» had once said Zeke, regarding his younger half-brother with that impassive, curious look he wore behind his glasses.

 _He reminds me so much of dad_ , Eren often found himself thinking, diverting his gaze elsewhere.

Regardless, maybe there was some truth in what he had shared with him. His blood was already tainted with a centuries-old curse, embellished with memories he still struggled to reach and powers that were cutting his life short. Also, he wasn’t a saint. Blood was on his hands, too.

Being a titan could make him appear so fearful and big, but in the end, he was who he was -a boy, with a pretty mask and a title he was unworthy of.

Humanity’s Hope.

He was working for them -for the prayers and hope and dreams that for long had been his only home, for the smiles of the people who lost their lives protecting him, for that lonely island that was the place in which he was. Free and loved, like in his mother’s tales.

But he was no hero or helper anymore.

 

He wasn’t a stranger to bad endings, either. Had seen many of them. So he knew that bad endings were sometimes caused by bad people.

«How did you become so filthy…»

And that eventually, he would become that bad guy.

«It’s as if you fell into a vat of shit,» the superior officer added, looking at him with that expression devoid of emotions of his. «Eren»

But Eren could see it, from his laying position in front of him, the lingering sadness that even Captain Levi couldn’t get rid of when looking at what remained of his past lover.

«…Captain»

The kick didn’t really take anyone by surprise -not even Mikasa, who reached out with an angry expression by reflex.

 _Ah, there you are, Levi_ , he thought, suppressing a bitter laugh.

«How nostalgic, Eren. You are just as easy to kick as ever»

It was hard to defend yourself when the one inflicting you pain was not the one you wanted to hurt. That was probably the reason why the blow didn’t hurt that much -or maybe, it simply was because of his titan power, numbing everything that remained in him.

 _But it did. It hurt_.

Captain Levi was still looking at Eren. The was no hesitation in his actions or words, but his eyes had always had the ability to scream what he didn’t want or know how to say.

«You are being detained. Until after our discussion»

«It doesn’t matter. Everything was written down in the letters» he replied, his fingers brushing against his nose, his eyes glancing distantly at his bloody hand. Then, he raised them on the short figure on his feet in front of him.

«So you should have been able to understand this, right?»

The sour look in Levi’s irises became one of pity.

Oh, he knew. He knew what he was and what he had become in Captain’s mind -he already knew it would have been like that on that last night they spent together before the mission, when he breathed his goodbye in Levi’s silent quarters.

«That face… you’re nothing but a filthy looking bastard from the underground streets that we happened to see»

Eren’s heart stung. His eyes widened a little bit at that feeling.

_Ah. Is this regret?_

«…I never thought that it’d turn out to be… you»

His gaze didn’t divert from the Captain’s one.

 _Me neither_ , said the voice of a young boy in the titan shifter’s head, fists tight around his chocolate hair, eyelids closed shut on turquoise irises, tears staining his cheeks.

Eren had nothing to say, not to the man he loved and even less to that younger version of himself.

 

He thought of how he used to be -shining and careless and bold and free.

_«…You have faith in us, but we have lost faith in you»_

He thought of the people he had sworn to protect with his own body, volunteering himself to shield them from every hit.

_«Sasha is… dead»_

He thought of what he had become in the name of the fight he needed to carry on and of all those choices he took so to not regret anything.

He thought of little the time he had left.

He thought of how he had burned bright -and now, he was fading.


	2. #2 - Wonders of the unknown (Damaged)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BEFORE GOING ON WITH THE CHAPTER!
> 
> "Happy" Eren/Levi Angst Weekend day 2!  
> This time, I got carried away writing a OS much longer than I usually prefer, and since it kinda fitted both themes, **I decided to split the story in two parts**. Part 1 is here, I'll post the rest tomorrow.  
>  Thanks and hope you'll read it and send some feedback my way! :D

_Levi…_

Blinking sleep away from his eyes, the world started to fall into place as his consciousness came back.  
Spots of light danced in his vision, and a dull ache was spreading into his head, giving him a hard time when he tried to focus on his surroundings.  
There wasn’t that much anyway -the clothes of the previous day neatly folded and placed on his chair, desk almost empty, simply organized with things that could easily come in handy, wardrobe closed in front of the bed, his phone on the nightstand, flashing lightly with an incoming call.  
Oh. Maybe that was what woke him up. If the caller knew Levi, they were not very smart.  
«What» was all he said to the one at the other end of the phone. It was risky -could have been the higher ups or his boss, but something told him it was a certain someone, far more annoying and less dangerous for his working life. More or less.  
«Don’t tell me you were still in bed!» a girl’s voice yelled, Levi’s hand snapping away the device from his throbbing ear drum.  
There. Of course.  
«I was waking up rather peacefully before you called just to screech in my ears»  
He could perfectly picture Hanji’s eye rolling back into her head.  
«I’m just being the awesome friend I am. So? Ready for the Ceremony?»  
«What are you blabbing about, shitty-»  
«THE RED Ceremony, you grumpy ass! Come down right now before I barge into your quarters and drag you out!»  
The call disconnected, and Levi was left staring at his phone’s display blinking at him and going black, trying to give a bit of needed order to the thoughts in his head.  
The Red Ceremony. Right. How come did he forget about it? Was it today?  
Checking out on his phone not only told him that yes, today was the day, but also that he was awfully late for that meeting he agreed to go to when Hanji asked him to.  
Hanji probably called him for that -wondering what was keeping him, since usually he wasn’t the kind of person to lose track of time so easily. Why was he asleep so early in the afternoon, anyway?  
Scrolling his head, trying to dissipate the fog of sleepiness, he shifted the comforter and padded toward the bathroom, urging his body into getting ready for the day.  
A shower was exactly what he needed, hot water brushing his skin in a warm caress that took away every trace of sweat and restlessness. He frowned, scratching at his scalp and his hair, getting rid of any trace of shampoo left.  
That strange feeling, as if he had been misplaced somehow while he was sleeping, was still lingering. Either he had gotten drunk without remembering, or he had a very disturbing dream that faded away from his memory, making him feel as if something in the back of his head was tumbling against his skull. Levi was far from being squeamish, so he didn’t have a clue of what could have happened that left him this bothered with him remembering.  
Who knew.  
Getting out of the shower and going on with his morning routine, Levi brushed his teeth after looking for his toothbrush and combed his hair after drying them up, then went to turn on the coffee machine, moving back to his room to choose his outfit -black boots, black tight-fitting jeans, white button down, pretty simple- and retrieve his phone, feeling like a ghost in his own home. Has it always been that quiet?  
In the kitchen, the coffee machine was already gifting him with the flavor of his morning drink. Levi closed his eyes and inhaled, filling his lungs with the familiar scent, then took the cup he placed in the machine and lifted it to his mouth by the edge.  
It hit him at the first sip that something was strange.  
The cup was already there -he always prepared it before going to bed so that it was easier for him when he was half asleep-, but it wasn’t  _his own_. There weren’t cups with handles in his house, since he didn’t like using them, and when he rarely had people over, they settled for what he had.  
But that? White, with a little cactus and a comic-like bubble within which the text  _Stay away from me!_ was imprinted -that was nothing short of his own possession.  
He took a deep breath.  
He emptied the cup and put it in the sink, leaving it to wash for later.  
Heading to the entrance, he put on his coat, grabbed his wallet and house keys and got out of the apartment.

 

The Red Ceremony was this sorting thing everyone had to face in their lives.  
Just once, though, since the SP (short for Soulmates Program), working along with the Caste system, assembled all the young individual of the society in their twenties or above in order to officialize or present them their other halves.  
It was a really boring and fancy way, administrated by the government of Sina, to regulate the Red Thread Bond that occurred between people when they met their destined mate.  
The red string around one’s right little finger has always been the proof that somewhere, out there, that person’s perfect other half existed. But meeting, as much as it was decided by fate, wasn’t always certain or secure, and many lived in restlessness and fear, increasing the discontent in the world.  
In the city of Sina, the Soulmates Project was born precisely to look for a solution and heighten the chance of finding mated pairs within their first 30-40 years of life.  
They found out that the red string released some sort of chemical factor in the blood around the twentieth year of a person’s life, and that it was possible to scientifically find a match in just one other person. It hadn’t always been a quick method, nor perfect, since both mates in the pair had to be twenty to show the chemical factor, not mentioning the fact that there wasn’t often the guarantee that both were even in the same city.  
But now that the SP had spread to the rest of the world, it became a problem of the past.  
After months of success, when it became clear that the program was working and ready to grow into a stable part of people’s life, the _Ceremony of the Red Thread of Fate_ , or how it was now known as Red Ceremony, was established.  
That was why Levi and Hanji were heading toward The Hall, the only building big and dignified enough to host the event in the whole Sina.  
Many of their friends and those of their own age, who eagerly entered the double door of The Hall for the first time looking around in wonder, were already there, chatting friendly or pointing at the huge mirrors in the main corridor or at the beautiful crystal chandelier.  
Some of them where too nervous to look around in hope to meet the eyes of their mate, others, bolder, didn’t shy away from the groups of boys and girls that came there from different cities.  
A few, like Hanji, had already met their mate months prior and where there only to support their friends.  
«Moblit!»  
She left his said, jumping in the arms of a young man a couple of steps farther from them, in a corner of one of the many rooms that this place had where the rest of their friends were.  
«Ehi Levi! Are you nervous for today?»  
Levi turned his head to look at Petra, whose smile was knowing and open. She was aware of his hate for fancy things like that, so it wasn’t really a question that needed his answer.  
But it made him think.  
Rolling his eyes into his head and ignoring her laugh, Levi thought about how under the weather he felt when that should have been one of the most crucial moments of his life.  
Somehow, he had forgot of the Red Ceremony, filtering it as something of the past.  
Somehow, it kept eluding him -the reason why that day should be important to him.  
 _There is a high chance you’ll find your match today, if they’re already twenty. You should be at least curious.  
_ But it didn’t feel like it, and Levi didn’t know how to explain the void in his heart.

 

The afternoon was full of his friends smiles and nervous glance, wondering how and where and if.  
«Don’t you feel like you belong right here, right now?» Hanji had beamed with enthusiasm at one point.  
 _No_ , he wanted to say.  _No, I feel like I need to run away. Run away as fast as possible, where I really need to be_. If only he knew where that was.  
When the Ceremony begun, those who came from other cities where called following their mates’ position in society. Since Sina was organized according to the Caste System, the richer and more powerful people in the city had the honor to represent the entire event and show off their sons and daughters to the society, presenting them as their heirs.Being called to Sina and have a mate there was a privilege for those from other cities, since it was where the SP and the Red Ceremony first made their appearance.  
It was all about money, wealth and what one’s position in the Caste system was, and it did nothing but deprive the moment of all of its deep and sacred meaning.  
 _Fancy and ridiculous as fuck_ , had always thought Levi.  
While he watched, something occurred to him.  
Or to be more specific, a small set of shivers danced in his mind, playing with the outskirt of his field of vision, making him turn his head toward the corner of the room.  
Odd. That was odd, akin to when he ate something cold and got brain freeze for that, only in the opposing sense, more as if that same part was thawing out slowly.  
He had been there before plenty of times, for his friends’ Ceremonies, of course, but when a sudden, crushing sense of déjà vu made his head spin, he had to move a little bit away from the crowd and lean against the wall, looking around, searching for-

_a similar room, a bit smaller, casted in the twilight’s light.  
_ _There were many people -parents, siblings, friends-, loud and happy, none of his friends in sight.  
_ _He moved to a corner of the room, distancing himself, and there he stood.  
_ _A man, with broad shoulders and brown hairs under a winter hat, silently gazing at his hand, playing with his sunglasses with the other.  
_ _Levi hadn’t looked down, ignoring the way his string glowed red and twirled happily. He had been moving a couple of steps forward, enraptured, inhaling rasping breathes, when the stranger had finally raised his face.  
_ _It was blue. And green. And amber.  
_ _No, it was the three together? Just green?  
He wasn’t sure, and something deep, deep inside of him needed to understand that._     
 _That was all he could think about.  
_ _The stranger’s mouth parted-_

clapping hands roughly took him away from that vision.  
His sight fogged a bit, leaving him dizzy for a few seconds.  
Around him, everyone was congratulating the first branch of mated pairs of the Ceremony, but Levi was far, far away, immersed in eyes of unspeakable colors.

 

«Soooo»  
Levi looked over, glancing lazily at Hanji on his right.  
His confusion must have been clear on his face, because she kept quiet for a moment before saying: «So, how is she?»  
«You mean…»  
«Nifa, I mean Nifa»  
When he didn’t reply, Hanji took a quick look to the rest at the table -they were in a restaurant, Levi noticed suddenly, with their friends chatting animatedly, blinding smiles on their faces. Then, she gave them her back and leaned on Levi.  
«Okay, that’s enough. You’ve been out of it for the whole day, getting up late and not even cracking a smile after meeting your soulmate. What’s going on, uh?»  
Levi frowned, holding his temple while bits of images rushed in his head -the Ceremony, the red string’s lighting up, Nifa’s smiling face, they exchanging phone numbers and signing their release from the first part of the SP. It felt like something in his brain was fast forwarding the last couple of hours of his life -as if he hadn’t been there at all and someone was replaying those memories for him in his head.  
What the hell was happening to him?  
His phone -he held it in his hand, when did he took it out?- blinked at him, letting him know that there was a new message, and the name  _Nifa_ felt alien and familiar to him at the same time.  
«I don’t know. Nothing, really. Just… it’s a lot to take in»  
Hanji kept scrutinizing him, like she was having a hard time believing him.  
«You know you can’t fool me, shorty»  
«Don’t call me shorty»  
«I only speak the truth»  
 _The truth is that they will reject the fact that we are meant to be._  
Shivers, and the voice of a man.  
His right hand was trembling.  
«Levi?»  
He got up from the chair, attracting everyone’s attention at the table.  
«I think I’m going home. I’m tired»

 

When the door closed behind him, he was more or less calm. The brisk, cool air of that evening -January had given them a little break from the snow, allowing bits of relative warmth into Sina’s winter- helped him clear up his thoughts and gain control over his nerves, that were rattling against his skin as if they were on fire.  
He was fine.  
He finally had a soulmate, someone he would get to know -following the protocol, obviously, through dates, holydays and what not, all set up by the final part of the SP. Someone to cherish, who would cherish him, forever.  
So why did it feel wrong?  
He put his coat, wallet and keys away, going to the living room and throwing the phone on the couch, Nifa’s text still unread. Flashes of  _something_  kept trying to break the quietude of his mind.  
He took his time in the shower, eyes closed, head tipped back-

_You are ticklish?  
_ _No, it was just your imagination._

His eyelids shut even more, while fits of laughter echoed in his bathroom, a knot of fear tightening in his stomach.

 

_It had seemed simple enough.  
_ _Go to The Hall, feign indifference, let Hanji nag you to get the distraction you needed without asking to.  
_ _There were so many people surrounding you, experiencing the same kind of feelings you were going through -nothing knew, it was how things worked.  
_ _You were nervous, just didn’t like feeling it or admitting it aloud.  
_ _Many rooms were already full, especially the main ones, where those of the highest Caste were waiting for the Ceremony to begin.  
_ _You and your friend went to the section of the building were those of your Caste belonged to -less fancy, but nothing short of elegant and sparkling.  
_ _You didn’t want to look at your hand. You wanted to search them for yourself, looking around, keeping your heartbeat at bay as long as you could. So you separated from your friends, told them you wanted to walk a bit, alone, and they let you.  
_ _Soon, the crowd started giving you this suffocating feeling, as if you were going to drown here and there.  
You went to a corner of the room, distancing yourself, when suddenly something shot within you. Your eyes moved frantically around, checking, inspecting, exploring, and oh!, there he stood.  
_ _A man, with broad shoulders and brown hair under a winter hat, silently gazing at his hand, playing with his sunglasses with the other with a distant expression on his face.  
_ _You hadn’t looked down, had ignored the way your string glowed red and twirled happily. You had been moving a couple of steps forward, enraptured, inhaling rasping breathes, when the stranger had finally raised his face.  
_ _It was blue. And green. And amber.  
_ _No, it was the three together? Just green?  
You weren’t sure, and something deep, deep inside of you needed to understand that._     
 _That was all you could think about.  
_ _The stranger’s mouth parted, and you both moved without even realizing it.  
_ _«It’s you»  
_ _There was wonder and surprise in the man’s eyes, as if he had never seen something quite like you. It wasn’t hard for you to understand the feeling -you felt the same way.  
_ _He was beautiful.  
_ _Exotic eyes, honey skin, chiseled features, long hair of a chocolate color that had your mouth watering just with a look. He seemed fit under his clothes, your hands trembling because you were restraining them from raising and touching him.  
_ _He was perfect, and handsome, and_ he was your mate.  
 _It was too good to be true.  
_ _«My name is Eren» the stranger said, not bothering to bring up his hands and waiting patiently for you to do the same and take his.  
_ _He leaned in, lifting his arm and taking a hold of your fingers, gently intertwining them with his own and pulling you closer.  
_ _Your heart almost burst out from your ribcage, lungs frozen, breath trapped in your throat.  
_ _Somehow, that reaction made the man -_ Eren, you know his name, now _, you told yourself giddily- laugh a little, and he had to remind you to inhale before you lost your consciousness.  
_ _«Sorry, I…»  
_ _«It’s okay, Levi»  
_ _Something shifted in you -his voice gave you chills, the good ones, and how good your name sounded on his lips-  
_ _«How- how do you know my name?»  
_ _A cloud appeared in his eyes, dulling the light that had been lighting them up from the moment he saw you.  
_ _«It’s complicated, maybe as much as what I’m going to have to ask you to do»  
_ _The giddy, happy feeling that had filled you until that instant was starting to fade.  
_ _«What do you mean?»  
_ _What was going on? Well, you couldn’t have known.  
_ _Not back then.  
_ _«I know it’ll sound strange, but I need you to come with me»  
_ _«Uh…?»  
_ _«Please. I’ll explain later, but we need to get away from here»  
_ _Confusing thoughts swirled into your mind.  
_ _«What are you talking about? The Ceremony-»  
_ _«It’s not what you think it is»  
_ _There was something in his eyes -something that was burning from within, that warmed its way into you, leaving you without words. This person, this stranger -your mate, the one who was destined to you, the man on the other side of your red string, string that was sparling in a bright, deep red color when you looked down at it.  
_ _«Please»  
_ _You raised your head again.  
_ _The Ceremony had always sounded ridiculous to you, and you hated the emotion that reminded you how you were part of the very same system -hated feeling restless and impatient because you couldn’t wait for it to be your turn.  
_ _And now, now that you had finally found him, there wasn’t really much to do. You would listen to what he had to say, and deal with the consequences.  
_ _«Alright, lead the way»_

 

Days passed, before things started making sense.   
When the tea was ready, he set his cup on the small table in front of his couch, a book on his lap, and got comfortable.

_You’re so small, I love having you all snuggled against me._  
_Say that again and I’m going to castrate you.  
_ _Eh, your loss, Levi._

He fisted his hair, ignoring his book sliding down on the floor, and pulled hard. Since the Ceremony, images kept flashing in his head without giving him a break. He tried to shove them down, to behave as if they weren’t there, stuck in his brain, torturing him with that sweet, sickening feeling of something  _missing_ , something precious and beautiful and relaxing and exciting - _someone_ , who was not there, and it was _wrong_.

_You’ll forget._  
_No. There’s no way I’ll forget this._   


An intense wave of pleasure wracked him, leaving him panting for air of the cushions, eyes wide open.

_Levi!  
_ _Yes, keep calling my name, because I’ll always remember yours, E-_

His head was throbbing painfully now, in total contrast with the way his dick begged for attention, the two different kind of stimulations cursing through him and rendering him useless. It hurt and it was good and Levi didn’t know what he was feeling anymore -if the lust filling feeling his body was giving him or the stabbing pain in his head.

_God, don’t stop- Levi-  
_ _Keep fucking me, harder- go faster-_

He was going crazy, for sure, but the pleasure he was feeling -it was his own, had his dick hard and leaking, his hand reaching down into his pants while his brain seemed to settle for a dull throb, distant in his lust induced haze.  
Levi was riding someone, and that someone was screaming his name. Ghost hands gripped his hips tightly, and he closed his eyes, getting lost in the sensation.

_Shit- Levi, I’m-  
_ _Yes, yes, yes, come inside me._

His fist was already moving on his length, taking advantage of the pre-cum that kept running down on his hand. Only, it wasn’t his hand anymore, but  _his_.  
Tears started streaming down his cheeks and with a few more thrusts he came, much sooner that any other time before, spilling on his abs and shirt. For once, he didn’t care much.  
The back of his head touched the cushions again. He put a hand on his mouth, trying to rein in his sobs, but a name slipped out of his lips like a prayer.  
«Eren…»

 

_The two of you didn’t meet any of your friends on the way out, and a part of you was glade for that.  
_ _The other was asking you what you thought you were accomplishing by running away.  
_ _You had always been fairly grounded, realist and pragmatic, but that wasn’t anything like the usual you.  
_ _But Eren’s hand was still linked to yours, so tightly that it seemed to reciprocate the similar grasp that he had on your heart since the moment you saw him.  
_ _An enchantment you hope would last forever.  
_ _He maneuvered you out of the crowd of people infesting the corridors and out of The Hall altogether, slipping into a side road almost immediately. There, a motorbike was waiting for you.  
_ _And that made you finally hesitate. It was one thing going out and talking, but this…  
_ _A click sounded in the air. When you looked closely to what Eren had in his hands, your body froze in growing fear.  
_ _«That’s-»  
_ _«A gun» Eren said, nodding when he made sure the safety was on and passing it to you.  
_ _«For you. We may be soulmates, but I know that what I’m ask you is not easy. Besides, we’re still strangers. After you hear me out, I’ll go away, if that’s what you want. That» he said, pointing at the weapon now within your reach, «is your assurance. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if in any moment you think I’m going to, then shoot me»  
_ _You took it, something in you relaxing, knowing that with the gun you could get the upper hand quickly if something went wrong. But it was also a double-edged sword, since it made you trust him a little more.  
_ _«I take it you know how to use it»  
_ _His tone seemed smug, knowing, and you observed him while he took out two helmets, extending one to you.  
_ _You reached back, tucking the gun in the jeans on your back, hiding it under your coat. Then, cautious but swift, you took the helmet and placed it on your head.  
_ _«I like shooting. But I get the feeling you knew about it, like you knew my name»  
_ _The guilty expression that Eren couldn’t manage to hide was an answer enough. You sighed, walking toward him and getting on the bike. Your reluctant acceptance surprised him, if that glint in his eyes and the hesitant smile on his lips was anything to go by.  
_ _You felt yourself blush, and hurried him up on the vehicle to avoid him seeing it.  
_ _«Let’s go somewhere you’ll feel comfortable»  
_ _The motorbike roared to life, and in the next twenty minutes you guided him through Sina’s street, following a familiar pattern of turns and side roads.  
_ _Your destination was a little apartment complex in the business district, close to your work office. When Eren, looking around curiously, asked you where exactly you brought him, you told him it was your apartment.  
_ _You weren’t sure, but it seemed like Eren felt slightly embarrassed, but you couldn’t be sure, since you both were painted in the colors of sunset. Nevertheless, the thought alone pleased you.  
_ _Entering, you invited Eren to take a sit on the couch, announcing you were making tea. He did, taking his coat and hat off, and you went to the kitchen, getting everything ready in the awkward silence.  
_ _You joined him in the living room when the tea was ready, asking him about sugar and milk, which he accepted. He talked a bit about him, uncertain, telling you he was twenty-four and that he lived out of town -maybe he wanted to break to ice, to make him appear more normal to your eyes.  
_ _Was it working? In that moment you were convinced it wasn’t, but it was. He was truly endearing.  
_ _«There»  
_ _You placed the tea in his hands, waiting for him to get a good grasp since there was no handle, before taking you own cup and sitting on the other side of the couch, leaving space between you and him. You placed the gun beside you, on the other side compared to where Eren sat, and felt relieved.  
_ _«That’s… a curious way a holding it»  
_ _You finished taking your sip, calmly, scrutinizing him and the tight hold with which his hand clutched at the cup.  
_ _«You should buy one with a handle, you know? I have one with a cactus on it, exclaiming “_ Stay away from me! _”. It reminds me of you, if you want it I’ll give it to you as a present»  
_ _You hated it every time your friends brought it up, but now you couldn’t help. You laughed, shaking your head soon after, reminding yourself the seriousness of the situation. But when you glanced at him, he was smiling widely.  
_ _You were quick to bring the cup to your lips and drink.  
_ _«So» you said, trying to get your control back. «Why did you make me take you here?»  
_ _«You don’t beat around the bush, uh?»  
_ _«Not usually»  
_ _That made you gain a very charming smile, with dimples and all, that complete with the wild chocolate nest on Eren’s head gave him a childish appearance.  
_ _«The reason is fairly simple» he started, slowly becoming serious.  
_ _«I wanted to meet you, and keep you safe»  
_ _Okay, you expected it to be a rather strange talk, but he had yet to explain everything and you already felt like it didn’t make sense.  
_ _You told yourself to keep your cool and rein your impatience.  
_ _«I am a ghost» he kept going, dropping his eyes from yours and sipping his tea.  
_ _«I don’t exist in any of the Sina’s database, I am not in the SP, I am not a citizen for the government. That’s because when I was born, my parents kept my existence a secret. They_   _met at the Red Ceremony, but not as mates for the SP. The program had destined them to other people (told them those were their mates when it was not true), and when they went to seek answers, they were told the SP did not lie, and that they were wrong. Ulterior protests caused them to have their memories wiped»  
_ _He stopped for a moment, letting the information he gave you sink slowly. His pause probably was timed and carefully chosen, since the last thing he said had you looking up at him as if you didn’t know if you wanted to call him crazy or kick him out of there.  
_ _«They… took your parents’ memories away?»  
_ _Eren nodded, testing your response. You sagged back, careful not to spill any tea on the couch.  
_ _«You know that sounds-»  
_ _«Absurd? I know. I would have struggled believing it too, if I didn’t know for certain that such a technology existed. I just want you to keep listening and then deciding what you want to do, okay? Please»  
_ Please.  _There went all his logic.  
_ _«I already said yes, didn’t I? Go on»  
_ _Eren nodded, sipping nervously from his cup._

He didn’t know how much time had passed.  
«Hello?»  
«Hanji. It’s me»  
«I know it’s you, you ass!»  
«Can you come over?»  
That did the trick. He almost never asked her to come over.  
«Give me ten minutes»


	3. #3 - Wonders of the unknown (Goodbye)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is part 2!  
> Thank you for getting so far <3

_«For a while, they went on with the lives the system created for them, marrying them out with the people they were paired with and raising a family. Years later, both their husband and wife died, just like that. And one day, they met again, and that triggered their brain into revealing the same sleeping memories the government had tried to take away from them. They were discovered and threatened, told that they didn’t have many options and could only cooperate or have their brain played with again. See, the thing about wiping one’s memory is that it can be done only once without damaging the brain. Doing it again would be too much trouble even for the government. But my parents said they just wanted to be together. Initially, they were against it, since my mother came from a rank much higher than my father’s, but they fought it off, swearing they would keep quiet and disappear. The government ended up granting it, provided that they would live in isolation and didn’t keep in touch with anyone. They didn’t need to be asked twice. My parents run and hid as far away from the city as they could»  
_ _He remained silent for a few seconds, probably gathering his thoughts, feeling your eyes boring into him. You weren’t the only one who was nervous.  
_ _«And then they had me. I’m sure that scared them a lot» he murmured, smiling sadly and dropping his head, hiding his face from your sight. Your chest tightened, and you had to force yourself to breath and stay still while your mate was so distressed.  
_ Your mate _. It still sounded strange, and yet so right.  
_ _«We were happy. As happy as we could be in the situation we were forced in, but it was true. The place I grew up in contains so many beautiful memories, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to part from it»  
_ _His shoulders were shaking, and it was enough to break your heart. If all of that was true -if memory-wiping tools truly existed-, then you supposed you could try to believe him. There was too much pain in they way he talked and behaved, too much sincerity in his eyes when they met yours for it to be a lie.  
_ _But you had questions. There were things probably left unsaid, and you wanted to understand.  
_ _So you asked them, hoping it would distract him from the pain he was reliving so that he could explain everything to you.  
_ _«Why did they do that? Why pair your parents with different people in the first place?»  
_ _«Because of the Caste system» Eren said, voice rough, scrolling his head to regain control of himself. When he looked over at you, his eyes were lucid, but firm. Your expression must have alerted him of your confusion, because he smiled patiently and set his cup on the small table in front of the couch, leaning toward you slightly.  
_ _That’s when you remembered about your tea -only to find the cup half empty, drink already cold. You imitated him, while listening to his explanation.  
_ _«Think about it. Do you believe that there had never been people whose soulmate was of a much lower Caste than their own?»  
_ _No, you didn’t. And it_ was _strange. Everyone had always moved within their own Caste, one above or one below at best. It had always striked you as odd, like it was too much of a coincidence, too romantic, as they put it, but no one had ever said anything, and your mated friends had all seemed happy.  
_ _You signaled him to keep going.  
_ _«The SP is supported by the government and the Caste system, financially speaking. Those of a high rank would never accept a farmer or a simple worker as their sons or daughters’ mate. Something needed to be changed, in that case, and they developed a memory-control tool. My parent’s friend, Armin, was part of the project, and refused to work on it when he found out what was his purpose. They wiped his memory, and he was assigned to the SP, so that they could keep an eye on him in case he remembered something. And he did, because he had left something to himself, knowing that the very same thing he refused to be a part of would be eventually used against him. We met when he came in contact with my family, after he found out about my father’s story and medical studies. With that, he discovered about me, too, a boy born from a couple of not recognized soulmates that no one, neither Sina’s government, knew about. He promised my parents he would protect me if something were to happen. And he kept it -he still does»  
_ _You brought your hands to your temple, massaging them while trying to come to terms with what you heard. Keeping your distance from him was giving you a migraine, but you weren’t quite ready for physical contact. His distress bothered you, though.  
_ _«So you are saying it’s all about money and power»  
_ _«Yes»  
_ _«And that people are manipulated if their destined mate is not of the same social status»  
_ _«Yes»  
_ _«Does that mean there are others nowadays whose mates have been paired with different people? Like it was for your parents?»_ Like it could be for us?,  _you thought, without having the courage to say it aloud.  
_ _Slowly, as if he didn’t want to reply but knew that he had to, Eren nodded.  
_ _«Okay. Then, how did you find me? Why now?»  
_ _«Armin. As I said before, he works for the SP and he kept out an eye for the chemical factor that would react with mine. Yours did, but he didn’t find out until yesterday. He was the one who send you the invitation letter»  
_ _You sagged back on the couch, looking at your hands, heart beating faster at the way yours and Eren’s red string were finally joined into one. You started thinking how it would be, to be paired with someone else now that you knew about Eren. You two have been together for less than a couple of hours, yet the thought repulsed you, making you shiver as if you were ill.  
_

 

The doorbell echoed in the apartment, and he got up from the couch and went to let his guest in.  
«Levi!»  
He took her arm and pulled her in the entrance, locking the door. She angrily got out of her coat and scarf, never once looking at you.  
«Are you finally ready to tell me what’s gotten into you? It’s been  _weeks_  since I last saw you and you didn’t even go to work. What about Nif-»  
When she turned her head abruptly and realized the state he was in -disheveled hair, heavy bags under his eyes, comfy clothes-, she just knew something was very wrong.  
«Tell me everything»  
And he did.

  
  


_«Are you okay?»  
_ _You glanced sideways at Eren, noticing how his eyes were observing you, worried and antsy, probably trying to guess how you felt.  
_ _«I- it’s just, it’s crazy. I’ve never been a fan of the Ceremony myself, but this is kind of hard to believe»  
_ _You saw his eyes hesitate at your words, but he held the sadness in them back, forcing him to hear you out. So you spoke quickly.  
_ _«It had always felt stupid and superficial when to me, like what they were doing was fucking obnoxious while it should have been more of an intimate thing» you added, hoping your embarrassment wasn’t obvious and that Eren didn’t think it was childish.  
_ _«But that’s not the point. What really frustrates me is that a part of me already believes you» you reluctantly admitted, diverting your eyes from the hopeful glint in Eren’s irises, «which kind of complicates everything and confuses me even more»  
_ _But Eren was already nodding, understanding clear as day in his expression, and your heart broke a little bit more at his eagerness.  
_ _«I get it. I grew up in this reality, but for you it’s just a sad story. I am already grateful you heard me out»  
_ _And then you just couldn’t take it anymore.  
_ _You scooted closer, before you could even change your mind, and took his hand in yours.  
_ _Relief washed over you in a potent wave and your body finally went slack, comforted by your mate’s closeness and direct contact. You heard him breath out, too, and he carefully tagged you against him, enveloping you in a hug. It was blissful and comforting, even if the socially awkward part of you was twitching a little. It subsided after a few moments, letting you relax.  
_ _You both remained silent for a while, hearts pounding, skin tingling, humming contently here and there, but the urgency of your talk kept nagging at you.  
_ _«You said you brought me here because you wanted to keep me safe, so what’s going to happen to me?» you whispered, snuggling subtly against his side. You felt his chin find his way on your head, waiting for his words to fill the silence again.  
_ _«They’ll look for you in the SP, because you’re already twenty. They’ll know about you having a soulmate, because the chemical agent is already active. T _hey’ll know you already met me by the way the soulmate’s factor in the blood reacts and changes after the first meeting._ I am not in the Registers, so it’ll take a while for them to figure it out, but when it’ll be clear that your soulmate is not out there, they’ll keep digging. Or maybe they won’t even bother and force a different mate on you, ripping our bond  _by means of some kind of injection, which creates a fake string connected to someone else_ »  
_ _He held you tighter, trembling with disgust only at the mental image of it. Was that your destiny? To be a rebel or become a marionette for the Caste system?  
_ _«And if they find out about your existence? Do you think they would use me against you?»  
_ _«Within the blink an eye»  
_ _You nodded.  
_ _«What now?»  
_ _«What?»  
_ _Your condescendence seemed to surprise him -it surprised you, too. Were you really going to do that -believe him? He didn’t have any logical reason to lie to you, and the risk of losing that, if what he told you was true, was too high.  
_ _You broke free from your hug, regarding him with a serious look.  
_ _«What should we do? My friends are probably looking for me and the Ceremony should be long over, now»  
_ _He seemed at a loss for a while, apparently lost looking at you with the same wonder he had in his eyes when you first met. That was, until something occurred to him.  
_ _«For now, tell them you are okay and that you are trying to figure out why your mate wasn’t there. It’s better if they don’t know. _But at some point, you’ll need to notify the SP of your status, to gain you time and don’t have them suspecting about you. That’s if they don’t come to you first_ »  
_ _You agreed._

_  
_

«I believe you»  
He breathed out his relief, letting Hanji hand him a second cup of tea.  
«It’s absurd and amazing and tragical and makes me really, really angry, but I believe you»  
«I don’t know what to do» he admitted, glancing out of the window, not daring to wonder if he was okay, if he was thinking about you.  
«Are you angry at him?»  
He didn’t answer.  
«You know they probably found out about him and he was only trying to keep you safe, right? If he told you where he was going and what he was-»  
«That’s what makes me furious»  
«But now it’s perfect!»  
He looked over, noticing how happy she seemed to be.  
«They don’t know you remember now, so it’s the perfect time to look for him!»  
«What about Nifa? What about you, the others-»  
«I’m sorry for that sweet angel. She can be your cover, so that they won’t know you know. Because honestly? I want you to be happy. And if it means letting you go so that you can find your soulmate and be with him, even if it’s far away from here, then that’s where I’ll help you go»  
  


 

_You weren’t aware you had been in love with him since the moment you met his eyes.  
_ _Well, that wasn’t quite true.  
_ _The bond didn’t create love, but helped you to build up complicity and trust with someone the universe knew would understand and support and accept you completely.  
_ _Love was how some people decided to call it.  
_ _At the beginning, Eren didn’t know why you kept wanting him back. He thought you were going to dispose of him soon after knowing how dangerous it was for the both of you to be together, but when you demanded if_ he _was ready to take the risk and_ _he told you he had been dreaming of living with you since the bond kicked in, you were quick to silence him.  
_ _«Then it’s settled. We need to work on your tea skills. I’ll teach you»  
_ _That was the reassurance you both needed._

_  
_

«How do we do that?»  
«You mentioned a friend of Eren’s in the SP, right?»  
«Yes. Armin Arlert»  
«That name does sound familiar. I’ll ask about him to my colleagues at work and see what section he works in, specifically»  
«Alright. Be careful and don’t attract unwanted attention»  
«Yup! Leave it to mama Hanji!»  
He rolled his eyes into his head, smiling for the first time since all those memories came back to him, days prior.  
«Hanji?»  
«What, shorty?»  
«Thank you»

_  
_

_«I don’t think it’s okay for you to come here this often. Maybe you should tone it out a bit. We should be careful»  
_ _Eren pouted, hiding well his worry, and inched closer.  
_ _«I can’t honestly go long without seeing you, Levi»  
_ _You laughed a bit, every day a little more charmed by the childish way with which Eren made him smile.  
_ _«Tch, you pimp»_   
  


 

«What did Armin say?»  
«Nothing. He told me we need to wait, that he’ll take care of it»

_  
_

_«You really brought that cup here?»  
_ _Eren took his jacket off, hanging it in the entrance and getting rid of his dirty shoes. Your heart jumped at that little act, knowing it was out of respect for you. He turned, raising his full hands and showing off his gift.  
_ _«Of course! It suits you, so don’t complain»  
_ _You didn’t even realize you were in front of him until you took his face into your hands and brought it down to kiss him, tugging at his lower lip impatiently to get him to open his mouth.  
_ _He did, eagerly as in everything he did, circling your waist and deepening the contact.  
_ _«Mmmh, someone missed me» Eren smiled against your lips, licking them lightly once, twice, before taking them again, roughly.  
_ _«You know I always do» you said minutes later, breathless, cup forgotten in Eren’s hands._

  
  


«I miss you so much»  
His whisper echoed in the night, sheets agonizingly cold, Eren’s side of the bed devoid of any trace of his presence.  
«You truly are a ghost»

  
  


_«Have you ever thought of running away?»  
_ _You didn’t stop playing with his hair, for once not tied in a messy bun, and Eren didn’t open his eyes when he answered.  
_ _«I did. My father offered me to, after mom died»  
_ _«Why didn’t you?»  
_ _«For a lot of reasons, the main one being you»  
_ _«Me?»  
_ _He took your other hand and brought it to his face, kissing your palm lightly and making you shiver.  
_ _«Yes. I knew there was a possibility that your were here, in Sina. More than that, I could somehow feel it. I couldn’t go away without at least meeting you, even if it meant sacrificing everything my parents did to keep me safe»  
_ _You didn’t speak for a while, enjoying the feeling of affection and serenity that staying close to him gave you. Then,  
_ _«Let’s run away»  
_ _«Uh?»  
_ _Eren turned his head, lifting his eyelids and looking at you.  
_ _«Let’s run away», you repeated, your gaze never leaving his.  
_ _A couple of seconds of silence, then a smile, a passionate kiss on your hand.  
_ _«Yes. Let’s do it»_

  
  


«Hi, Levi»  
A shy voice greeted him on the other hand of the phone, feeding his guilty conscience.  
«Hi, Nifa»  
«The SP settled our first date, did you read it? It’s in two days from now»  
«Yes, I read it»  
«I’m really excited! Where should we go?»  
«Wherever you want to go»

  
  


_«Levi- Are you sure?»  
_ _Your hands tightened their hold on his shoulder, bringing him down urgently, legs around his waist. Your arousal bumped together and you both hissed, the friction doing wonders against your heated skin.  
_ _«Yes. It’s already uncertain as it is, I don’t want to miss any of the thing I can do with you»  
_ _Eren moaned at your words, and every caution from him disappeared.  
_ _He took his time entering you, holding your hips down and reveling in the feeling of his dick sinking into you, just as much as you loved the sensation of being filled to the brim, despite the initial uncomfortableness.  
_ _Suddenly, Eren was everywhere -in your heart and soul, whispering at your ears and against your lips, intertwining your fingers and caressing your sides, while he slowly, slowly moved his length out of your hole before going back in, every time a little bit faster to get you both used to the feeling, until he set a rhythm that had you withering and trashing against the sheets, sweat trickling down your skin.  
_ _It was a torture, one you never wanted to end.  
_ _«Eren- faster»  
_ _«Not now- let me»  
_ _His thrusts became longer and deeper, searching, wandering, taking your breath away, making it impossible to stay still.  
_ _«Eren- Eren, please»  
_ _«It’s okay, love, I think I-»  
_ _You screamed, literally screamed when Eren pushed against something inside you that had every single nerve of your body light up and shout in pleasure, rendering your words much more incoherent.  
_ _«There! Do it again!»_ _But Eren was already doing it, apparently having been looking for that particular spot, and he started pounding with reckless abandon into it while holding your right legs up, your left one draped on his shoulder.  
_ _«Yes, oh god, Er- Eren-»  
_ _«Shit!»  
_ _Eren’s hand flew to your erection, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer with you moaning and panting like that, closing around it and fisting it in time with his thrusts. Your hips drove right back onto Eren’s dick and into his hand, seeking all the pleasure you could get, making him lose even more the thin grasp he had on his control.  
_ _«Levi-» he sobbed in pure pleasure, «Levi»  
_ _It didn’t take more of a couple of push and encouraging words for you to come on your stomach, painting yourself with your own semen and trying to keep up with Eren’s movement a little bit longer, until you felt him come in your ass, gasping weakly at the sensation.  
_ _None of you spoke, but you embraced each other tightly, still feeling vulnerable and open, but satiated and warm as never before._

_  
_

«Shit»  
He came again, moaning silently, the ghost of Eren’s touches and kisses on his skin.  
His breath was heavy, lungs extending frenetically to gain as much air as possible, eyes blinking tears away and revealing the sad truth-  
He was still alone.

_  
_

_«They came. They told me my request for my missing soulmate has been accepted and that they’ll let me know. Are you sure that was a good idea?»  
_ _You were pacing nervously in the kitchen, preparing lunch while referring about your last encounter with the SP division. You had to make them aware of the fact that you weren’t contacted for your Ceremony, so not to raise suspicion in the government.  
_ _«You know it was, you agreed, too. They’d find it strange if you didn’t alert them of your status, now that some time had passed. Not all Ceremonies happens immediately after one’s twentieth birthday, but we can’t risk it»  
_ _You sighed, irritated by the fact that he was right and the one of you who managed to keep his cool.  
_ _«What if the next time they’ll come back they’ll wipe my memory because they didn’t find one?»  
_ _«We won’t let that happen. We’ll find a way, I’ll ask Armin»  
_ _«I don’t want to forget about you»  
_ _«We won’t let that happen. If they take me- no, listen. If they take me, they’ll make you forget. But the bond is truly a mysterious thing. Scientists keep analyzing it as if they have it all figured out, but there are many aspects of it that keep eluding the human mind. So if you were to forget about me, and they were to force a bond with someone else on you, which is the standard procedure, your original bond probably wouldn’t disappear. It’s carved in your soul, in your essence. It’s not something science can erase. Keep it always in mind»_

_  
_

«We should have run away when I told you» he murmured with a bitter smile, bowing his head to the wind.  
«Did you say something?»  
He turned his head, giving a shake of his head to Nifa.  
«No, everything is alright»  
She smiled at him, and when he did the same his eyes were dull and a but glassy.  
That evening, when he came back to his apartment, someone was already there.  
«Were you waiting for me?»  
The blond man raised his head, regarding him with a tight look, before pulling away from the wall.  
«Let’s talk inside»

_  
_

_«What’s going on?»  
_ _«…»  
_ _«Eren? Who was on the phone?»  
_ _«I have to go»  
_ _«What the hell are you talking about?»  
_ _«I won’t come anymore, okay? I don’t want them in your head. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me»  
_ _«No! Don’t you dare leave me, Eren. Even if they wipe my memory, I won’t forget. You know I won’t»_

_  
_

«Is this for me?»  
The man was extending a letter to him, and Levi took it with weary eyes.  
«It’s from Eren»  
He wanted to open it. He wanted it so much his fingers were shaking, hand cramping around it, but his body was frozen.  
«Are you Armin?»  
The other nodded, watching Levi.  
«Did you see him? Is he okay?»  
«Yes. He is well hidden»  
He breathed in. The out.  
Eren was alive and well.  
«Okay» you said, nodding, walking around the couch and sitting on it.  
«Okay»

  
  


_Eren watched you sleep.  
_ _He loved doing it, one of the rare moments you were truly unguarded, and your walls weren’t up to protect you. The little light seeping in through the window danced of your distended features, throwing shadows on your cheeks and in the corner of your mouth, illuminating your forehead, free from your usual frown and adorably covered from your scattered after-sex hair.  
_ _He watched you, smiling secretly, brushing your bangs just to impress on his skin a last touch, aside from a last look. _He let you believe you had managed to convince him, but he knew that he couldn’t stay.  
__ _Then, he stood.  
_ _Marched toward the door, stopping at the doorstep of you room, glancing back.  
_ _«Goodbye, Levi»  
_ _He left with a whisper._

_  
_

He threw the letter on the small table, drawing a pensive look out of Armin.  
«I don’t care about his words, as long as he is okay. I want him»  
«You want him?»  
«I want to go to him, get the hell out of here» he specified.  
Armin seemed to understand what he was implying, but that didn’t mean it’d be easy to convince him when Eren’s safety was in the man’s hands.  
«Do you love him?»  
«Yes»  
«Are you ready to do whatever it-»  
«Yes»  
«What about your life, your friends-»  
«I don’t care. And they’ll understand» he replied in order.  
Armin seemed lost in thought, and Levi didn’t really care what he was thinking about as long as it would lead him to Eren. Then he’ll give that jerk a piece of his mind.

  
  


_Three men in black gear and two in white coats entered his apartment and started looking around.  
_ _Panic filled you to the brim, knowing it had to have something to do with Eren. Did they find out about him? Did they take him away while he was asleep?  
_ _«Who are you? What are you- ehy!»  
_ _Those clothed in black ignored you, taking stuff from the furniture and couch -Eren’s stuff, you realized with a new wave of horror and fear.  
_ _«Don’t touch anything! Where is he? Where did you bring him?»  
_ _One of the men in the white coat, probably a doctor or a scientist, came toward you and looked at you with something akin to pity.  
_ _«That’s none of your concern, and soon you’ll agree with me on that. Please, just relax and let us do our work, everything will go back to normal in a couple of hours»  
_ _That’s when you understood what was going to happen -they were going to use the memory-tool on you. It was really happening. They were going to take every trace of Eren’s existence from your life._

  
  


«Can I ask you something?»  
«Make it quick» Levi said, crossing his arms.  
«How did you remember? I worked in the SP for years, and every time someone gained his memories back, it was because they were triggered by the presence of their mate, but I know Eren didn’t come here to see you once since he had to go away. How did it happen?»  
The younger sighed, almost smiling, not looking at Armin’s way.  
«It was that stupid cup»  
«Uh?»  
«The only thing belonging to Eren that they didn’t manage to take away. He left me without saying a word, hoping that not knowing where he was would keep me safe. When they raided my place searching for things with his digits on, they didn’t find any on the cup and thought it was already mine. I just used that so many times that it wasn’t his anymore, not in a tangible way»  
Armin seemed to understand, expression finally distending.  
«But then again…» you added, leaning your head to the side and focusing on nothing in particular, «it’s like Eren had said many times to me. The bond between soulmates is a mysterious thing, not even science can harness it completely»  
The blond man couldn’t agree more.

  
  


> _A body was found on the side of the road next to the burning car, rendered completely unrecognizable. Scientific managed to confirm the identity after a DNA test, already hypothesized as a result of an investigation on the license plate._
> 
> _Levi Ackerman, age 20, Caste D, had only recently gotten through his mating Ceremony. We are close to his mate, Nifa Meier, and his friend, in their mourning._

Petra was inconsolable, her mate, Auruo, unable to make her stop crying. Gunther and Erd still couldn’t believe it, looking helplessly at each other.  
Hanji, on the other hand, felt like she was the only one who could truly be of any comfort to them, but the truth was that she was powerless.  
She couldn’t tell them Levi was okay.  
She couldn’t tell them his death was faked in order for him to be with his mate again.  
She couldn’t, and she wouldn’t, keeping the danger and the happiness of knowing it all for herself.  
She hoped they would eventually forgive her.

  
  


«You sure look like shit»  
The man at the bar counter didn’t really turn around to look at the one who addressed him, only slightly moving his head without looking away from his beer. His fingers, that had stopped upon hearing that voice, started playing with the hem of the mug again, trembling slightly.  
«I’m already 26, guess it’s starting to show»  
The newcomer hummed, taking the barstool on his left.  
«Yeah, it took a while for me to come over»  
«I know» said the man, taking a good swig of beer and wiping his mouth clean with the sleeve of his hoodie.  
«Gross»  
Eren started laughing, lightly at first, as if he didn’t want to be heard, until his eyes betrayed him and became lucid, a half sob leaving his throat.  
The barman looked at him curiously, sending Levi a perplexed glance, but he distracted him by ordering his own drink.  
«Levi, I- it’s so good to see you»  
Levi was sure it was. Something was alive, in his stomach, as much his string was, fluttering and dancing in bright red now that it was reunited with Eren’s own.  
«Yeah, I know» he murmured, which was is way of saying,  _yeah, me too_.  
None of them spoke for a moment, voice suddenly nowhere to be found, and Levi’s eyes wandered, unfocused. There were too many words to express his sorrow and loneliness and relief and love, but not nearly enough to say what he wanted to convey in that moment.  
The barman came bake with his order, placing it in front of him and giving them the privacy they obviously needed.  
«Bourbon?»  
«I became quite acquainted to it while you weren’t there»  
A strangled sound made his way out of Eren’s mouth, one similar both to a laugh and another sob.  
«Let me guess. Erwin’s personal stock?»  
«Precisely Erwin’s personal stock»  
Levi managed to smile, thinking about Armin’s blond mate and the entire cabinet filled with different brands of bourbon.  
Both Levi and Eren turned serious pretty soon, though, the sweetness of their reunion hiding lost somewhere between the lines. So much to lighten the mood.  
They hadn’t seen each other in months, and Levi’s patience was already running thin. He wanted to scream at him, in many ways, as much as he wanted to touch him and never let go again.  
«You are impatient. You are doing that thing with you finger tapping against the glass-»  
«You tried to leave. You  _left_. You said me goodbye»  
«Levi-»  
«No» he interrupted, nervously tipping his head back and sipping his drink. «No, I know why you think you did that, but you were wrong. You  _are_ wrong. You should have asked me to run away with you, or you should have taken me seriously when I proposed it»  
«It wasn’t an option back then, you know it»  
« _Yes_ » Levi said through gritted teeth, sparing no attention to the barman moving behind the counter or the people filling the bar. «Yes, I know. But you did everything on your own»  
«Had I not already ruined your life enough?»  
«You are the only good thing in it, Eren»  
Tears left the safety of Eren’s eyes and descended upon his cheeks, their owner wiping them angrily, nervously drinking his beer.  
«I just-»  
«I know. I know you are acquainted with running away alone, but there is no way I’m letting you do that again» Levi kept saying, reaching over and taking Eren’s closer hand to him. «It nearly broke me»  
The older man’s fingers squeezed Levi’s with all the strength they had, and Levi let him, relief washing over him through their bond now that his mate was finally touching him.  
«I’m sorry. It’s been a torture- knowing what they were going to do to you, staying away- but they were planning to take you and probably use you like they did with my parents, and I couldn’t- if they took me that would have been one thing, but-»  
Levi brought their hands against his lips and kissed the back of Eren’s one, reverently, meeting his gaze for the first time since he arrived there. His eyes were exactly like he remembered them -exotic, bright, of impossible colors, looking right through him and making every single one of his nerves feel alive.  
«I’m aware of it all. Still, you should have told me, instead of disappearing like that. You’ll have to do a lot to gain my trust again and show me that you are sorry. Right now, I just want you to take me home and make love to me»  
Eren shivered, never once breaking eye contact. Levi’s other hand was on his cheek in seconds, and the older man kissed his palm without even thinking, once, twice, nuzzling against it.  
«Yes, sir»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again!  
> Here is my ereri tumblr: @ anotherererifanshippingcorner plus my main one: @ aleafinatyphoon


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